Sober Turtle Recipes: Your DIY Guide to Toxin-Free Skin, Hair, and Oral Care
By Dr. Mindy Richtsmeier, DDS
December 3, 2025
Tired of the cocktails of synthetic chemicals and hormone disruptors listed in fine print on nearly every commercial self-care product? I was, too!
Sober Turtle. A crunchy mom’s response to Drunk Elephant. The year was 2023. With a preteen daughter and her friends drawn in by the hype and synthetic fragrance of Sephora, I was horrified by the ingredient lists on the products that Emma told me were “trending”. This being a trend that I didn’t want her to follow, I tirelessly researched ingredients and protocols, and I began making my own.
…and this is how Sober Turtle was born.
It went a little something like this.
Emma: “Mom, I’m going to Sephora with my friends. Can I please get Drunk Elephant skin serum? It says that it has clean ingredients.”
Me, looking online at the ingredients list, which admittedly wasn’t as bad as many but still was not something that I wanted my sweet daughter smearing on her skin every day: “Synthetic chemical. Possible hormone disruptor. Synthetic chemical…” Nope, sorry girl. Good news! We’re making our own skincare now.”
Turned out that Emma really loved the face wash, tallow balm, and slay serum that I made (so did her friends). One problem. She said that I needed to have a brand. You want Drunk Elephant? I give you Sober Turtle. I didn’t stop with the name, I had to make her want it. An hour later, on StickerMule.com, I also had custom labels that would get anyone excited to use what’s inside the jar.
While I admittedly fit the role, I did not self-declare as a crunchy mom. Rather, I was given the title of Crunchy Mom. My daughter and her gang of pals, the “Slay Queens”, gave each of the Slay Queen moms a nickname. I was not surprised when Emma informed me that I had been dubbed “Crunchy Mom”. It’s true. That’s me. I own it. I hope that I was at least considered for “Cool Mom”. Kristen really is a lot cooler than me, so I’m OK with her having that title. I also feel I could have been “Homemade Mom”, but I accept my loss there, too. Monica is the clear winner with her bread, jams, and baked goods. I will say, though, that I’ll let Dana have “Plan Ahead Mom”. She certainly wins, and I don’t even qualify. While professional Mindy is obsessively researched, planned, and executed, the extrovert in me balances that order by totally letting my hair down at home in a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants style of personal life;). So I embrace the title of Crunchy Mom. It fits well.
Here it is. The official unofficial recipe book. Sober Turtle: Recipes for Clean Products…from a Crunchy Mom.
Download the Sober Turtle Recipe Book (PDF)
With any of the washes, oils, and serums, ALWAYS be sure to shake well before using. Remember: everything is clean and all natural, with no emulsifiers to keep it a constant, uniform mix.
While everything in there is awesome, I definitely have some favorites.
Tallow Balm
My all-time favorite moisturizer for face and body. I use it daily. Recipe below!
Awesome Sauce Face Wash
Gentle chamomile and castile soap. My everyday face wash. Recipe below!
Salt or Sugar Scrub
Keep it in the shower for a magical experience of exfoliation and fragrance.
Sunscreen
In the summer, we avoid chemical-filled commercial sunscreen at all costs. Sober Turtle sunscreen is what dreams are made of.
Mouthwash
When I’m in the mood for fresh breath and a pH-balanced mouth, I swish Sober Turtle Mouthwash.
Tallow Balm
My all-time favorite moisturizer for face and body. I use it daily. Recipe below!
Awesome Sauce Face Wash
Gentle chamomile and castile soap. My everyday face wash. Recipe below!
Salt or Sugar Scrub
Keep it in the shower for a magical experience of exfoliation and fragrance.
Sunscreen
In the summer, we avoid chemical-filled commercial sunscreen at all costs. Sober Turtle sunscreen is what dreams are made of.
Mouthwash
When I’m in the mood for fresh breath and a pH-balanced mouth, I swish Sober Turtle Mouthwash.
Three recipes to start with
The full recipe book has 14 recipes, plus my notes on essential oils, carrier oils and extracts. If you’re new to this, these are the three I’d make first.
Sober Turtle Tallow Balm
Grassfed tallow is rich in the fat-soluble vitamins A, D and K, and its saturated fat ratio closely resembles what our own cells use to maintain their integrity. It absorbs easily without leaving a greasy residue. This is my all-time favorite moisturizer for my face and body.
Ingredients
- 16 oz (2 cups) grassfed beef tallow, melted (I get mine from 99 Counties)
- 6 oz (12 tablespoons) organic avocado oil, or another carrier oil
- Optional: about 110 drops of essential oil. That’s just under a 1% dilution: a light scent, and gentle enough for all skin types.
- Optional: almond or vanilla extract for scent
Directions
- Melt the tallow gently over low heat. I use a glass jar set in a pan with a few inches of boiling water on the stovetop.
- Pour the melted tallow into a large bowl and mix in the avocado oil and any essential oils.
- Let it cool for about an hour, then whip it with a hand mixer until it looks like frosting. Don’t be shy: the more you whip, the better the consistency.
- Scoop into clean jars. I use amber glass jars. This makes about six 4 oz jars.
My favorite scents: The Real OG, a mix of organic lavender, bergamot, frankincense and sandalwood essential oils. And Vanilla Nuts: about 2 tablespoons each of vanilla and almond extract, plus a few drops of frankincense for my old skin 😉
Sober Turtle Awesome Sauce Face Wash
Ingredients
- 1¾ oz unscented liquid castile soap
- 2 oz brewed organic chamomile tea, for its anti-inflammatory properties. Brewed marshmallow root tea is also a good option.
- ¾ tsp organic avocado oil
- 12 to 15 drops of essential oils: lavender (sensitive and acne-prone skin), tea tree (acne-prone skin), or frankincense, geranium or sandalwood (aging skin)
- 3 drops of vitamin E, baobab or carrot seed oil
Directions
- Add all the ingredients to a 4 oz amber jar with a pump. It’s about a 1:1 mix of castile soap and chamomile tea, with a very light essential oil dilution (about 0.5%).
- Shake well before each use, and use it as your daily face wash.
Sober Turtle Mouthwash
A gentle, alkalizing rinse for fresh breath and a pH-balanced mouth.
Ingredients
- 2 cups distilled or filtered water
- 2 tsp aluminum-free baking soda
- 4 tablespoons xylitol
- 10 drops of peppermint oil, plus 1 drop each of tea tree, orange, lemon, cassia and eucalyptus oil
- 10 drops of liquid trace minerals
Directions
- Add all the ingredients to a glass bottle and shake until fully combined. This mouthwash ages like a fine wine: the flavor just gets better with time 😉
- Use it daily. The very low essential oil dilution is friendly to the microbiome, and it’s a good alkalizing rinse to help balance the pH in your mouth.
- Keep it away from pets. Xylitol is safe for people but toxic to dogs.
The rest of the recipes (scrubs, serums, hair care, sunscreen, bug spray and more) are in the Sober Turtle recipe book.
Download the Sober Turtle Recipe Book (PDF)
What do you need?
- You need glass jars with lids, pump bottles, bottles with dropper lids, etc.
I remove old labels and reuse a number of different glass containers for the stuff we make. I also buy some amber glass pump bottles and jars with lids from Amazon. I always prefer glass over plastic because, well, Crunchy Mom;). Tinted glass helps protect the natural ingredients from the sun to stabilize them.
- You need good quality ingredients.
I won’t go into detail here, but I have a whole section at the end of the recipe book on different carrier oils, essential oils, etc. I like to use organic when I can. I try to buy from reputable sources. When you’re getting beef tallow, be sure to get grassfed. As with any animal products, the fat is where many great nutrients are found (Vitamin A, D, E, K, and so many beneficial fatty acids). HOWEVER, fat is also a storage dump for toxins if animals are eating feed lot diets of genetically modified grains that are bathed in glyphosate.
- You don’t need labels. But it sure is fun to have them.
If you want to make your own, this is the design that I made and order from Sticker Mule. Feel free to use it, or make your own. The 3” x 2” sticker works for most things. It’s great. Whatever product I make, I just use a Sharpie and write its name on the bottom of the label.
For the things that I don’t make, here are some brands that I trust:
Toups and Co is a phenomenal company with truly clean products. My family loves their Tallow Deodorant and their Tallow chapstick. Until you’re ready to make your own whipped tallow balm, get theirs- it is amazing!
Formless Beauty is one of the cleanest make-up brands I’ve found. I’m not much of a make-up girl, but for the little that I do wear, I love this brand.
Toothpaste, Mouthwash (if I don’t make it)… Risewell and Bite are a couple of my favorite brands. You can find more of the products we recommend on our Recommended Products page.
As always, I’m not affiliated with any of these brands or companies. I just share what I use and love.
I hope that you find the journey into making your own self-care products as rewarding as I did! ✌️
